From my cousin Dylan:
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a
new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is
contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."
Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past
four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic
overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new
information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept
responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies
towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease
originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas…………..